Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
