these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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