why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
