so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
