I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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