Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
