U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
3 2 1 whiskey
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
