Porn is love you can see.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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