I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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