We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
you win again, gameday.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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