We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
