SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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