guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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