Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
