In the future we'll all be gay
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
