FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
