Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
