I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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