i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
This house was built for laser tag.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
