Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
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