i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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