She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
