You work out of a Hotel?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
