well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
