I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Randomize
