went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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