1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
