I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize
