Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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