thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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