C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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