he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
