i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
