Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
