so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
