Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
