Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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