just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
