He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Randomize
