i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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