idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
