Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
