I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
