i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
