can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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