franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
