Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I puked a lego.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
