Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
