So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
The air taste purple.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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