i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
