I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Randomize
